Core Evolution: Integrating Love, Sex, Relationships, Health, Career & Life
Siegmar Gerken, PhD, has pioneered body oriented and heart centered therapy, as well as Humanistic Psychology since 1971. He is the founder of Core Evolution. Cornelia Gerken, CMP, integrated a spectrum of psychosomatic and healing approaches. She is the founder of CoreSoma. Cornelia and Siegmar train professionals and organizations and also offer individuals and couples workshops. The following is only an excerpt but should give you a feel for the depth of the process.
Core Evolution addresses body-emotion-mind-spirit as a unity. The experience of love unifies all these aspects and therefore affects every state of people's life. A person in love will communicate and create from a place of harmony, well being, peace, joy and fulfillment.
Love is the resonance with the flow of life. If people meet in this state of resonance, they can communicate from this place, they are in communion. From this place we can express: "I love." When they direct this energy toward each other, they express: "I love you" - you make it personal and if you want to explore this love on a personal, sexual and social level, then they commit to exchange love on all levels of existence: "I want to share life with you" - they 'step consciously' into love (they are not 'falling' any more).
Fidelity is a natural intention and arrangement to resonate with each other and explore life in all its depth and concentrate on each other. If you really mean it, then it requires the whole being and focus. Sometimes, mostly when personal needs, desires, expectations, etc. are not met, people want to change the arrangement and they try to justify it by comparing it with different life styles. Others may claim that they look for enhancement or diversity in life, including sexuality, etc. - but the bottom line is, that the partner is not any more 'enough', and often it lacks the willingness, courage or consciousness to direct the energy toward the exploration of life with each other, to find out the deeper origin from where the perception of 'not being enough' comes from.
If you care for another person and hold this with integrity, you explore the nature of conflict. Only from that depth you can make a decision, whether a separation may be healthy or what both partners can do, to expand into their relationship. Some people come to me, because they want to be supported in the process of separating in love, they became aware, that they are not able to live the love together. We got to understand, that love does not betray! It is the person who cannot sustain and integrate the flow of this energy.
On the other hand, fidelity based on a limiting family-, religious- or cultural model and not emerging from the lovers' truth for each other is already distorting the free flow of love. Two birds fly and sing beautifully and they meet in their freedom and creativity with natural intention - what happens if you bind their wings together?
Passion is not just related to the general idea of love. Here it gets often confused with desires, lust, intensity, etc. Passion is the energy mobilized to move life. In a situation where people feel attracted to each other they move the energy with each other. People wonder, why passion fades. They mostly don't realize, that it is like a flame, if you want it to become a fire, you got to attend it, breathe life into it (Oxygen) and put a log onto the fire - that means you give an active personal commitment to keep the flame alive - not just on Valentine's Day.
On Sex and Love
If people feel attracted and open the flow of life to each other, they may also want to unify the forces of sexuality with each other. Love with the mature and free expression of sexuality can enhance the physical experience of love, leading into a state of fusion in which lovers can transcend the duality of 'you' and 'me' and feel the oneness. This fusion into oneness can also happen on a non-sexual level without the physical body experience. You may tune in with somebody's love in a meditation and feel unified. You can see the love of a mother or father for their newborn in radiant ways. You may also feel that you want to share your whole physical, emotional, mental, social and spiritual being with another person. Lovers may choose on which level they want to share their experience and communion of love in different ways at different times.
On Passion's Decline
In longtime marriages there may be a shift of priorities (children, work, etc.), or a natural shift in physical conditions (age, change of hormones, or other). That does not necessarily mean, that the desire for each other must be less. It shifted to another level of expression, understanding and acceptance. Their intention to meet and share life can still come from a place of care and lovingness and they still can be happy and radiant with each other, also with less sex.
If the loss of sexual desire and exchange is due to a withdrawal, disappointment, resentment, fantasies, etc, then we must carefully look at the reasons and how they relate to people's images about love, expectations and needs. In CORE EVOLUTION we support the individual or lovers to gain clarity in their emotional confusion or misconceptions and to find more integration, so that they feel open and good again to allow the flow of love.
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